It can get very quiet at 80. Waking up in the morning there is no longer children’s lunches to fix, commuter traffic to face, casseroles to make for community or family events, or a job to consume all thought. This can be uncomfortable. For rather than getting that morning cup of coffee and discussing with co-workers what they did over the weekend, we are alone with our thoughts. The important distractions are brushed aside as retirement and age gently descend and these thought consuming activities are gone.
I remember my grandmother at 90, sitting by the window of her retirement apartment, staring out the changing scene outside her window. I joined her there one day as she thoughtfully said something that resonates with me now that I am nearing her age. As the colorful fall leaves outside her window glinted in the sun she said quietly, “I am alone now ---but not lonely.” She had lived a full life with its joys as well as its sorrows and could live it all again in peace in her mind.
There is nothing wrong with being active as long as one can. But sometimes I look at retirement communities and feel the activity is almost frenetic, as if keeping thoughts of the self at bay. Pickle ball, croquet, golf and bacchii ball are great, but not at the expense of real thought. It should be one of the joys of moving along life’s spectrum ---- the time to contemplate, reflect, and consider.