Defining the Self

One of the most challenging things about hitting the eighth decade is how we define ourselves.  We cannot, and perhaps no longer should, do that by our physical achievements.  We most likely can no longer leap tall buildings in a single bound, or even three or four bounds.  We are not dancing with the Bolshoi Ballet, cleaning the gutters on a steep roof, sailing around the world in a small sailboat, or painting an entire house.  We did these things in the past, but no longer.  For some this seems a diminution of the self and they stubbornly climb up on that roof while anxious relatives look on with concern.

Instead, we should look at who we really are, which is an accumulation of the qualities that we have garnered over the years.  In a lifetime of living, we have gathered and polished qualities and ideas which we can quietly share.  These were always at the base of who we were anyway.  Bravery and masculinity are not defined by a climb on a roof, but by faithfulness, integrity, and steadfastness.   We can be graceful and athletic as we watch younger people crowd the wedding dance floor and dance with them in our minds.  We can appreciate with joy those who help us paint or fix the plumbing or electricity.  We should be aware of these qualities and treasure them as we do our memories.  They are who we really always were and are.