I recently returned from a trip to a retirement village in Florida. In case you think that was for my 80-year-old self, it was not. It was a visit to my oldest daughter who is considering moving there. I am now old enough not only to have retired, but to have a daughter who is old enough to begin thinking about that stage of life.
This is a new phenomenon --- the retired having children who are also retired or close to it. My father-in-law was almost 104 when he passed away and my husband and I were naturally retired as well. No wonder the national budget is in such disarray. When Social Security went into effect, no one planned on the longevity we are now seeing in seniors. I can remember when a famous morning show would celebrate the birthdays of those turning 100. They had to stop the practice, as listing the names would have taken up most of the morning. Eighty was once a ripe old age, but now we have people at that age running races and competing in swimming events.
The homes in this modern facility we looked at were accommodating for the age range --- all on one floor and with wide hallways and doors in addition to handrails in the tubs and showers. But they were beautifully done with none of the aura of ‘an old person lives here.’ This is very different from my memories of my grandmother when she moved into a retirement facility for Army widows. First off ,it was for women only, and once one left the opulent lobby and reception area, the apartments were small and utilitarian. There were no built-ins, crown molding, or washers and dryers. Skip forward a number of years in the same facility and in the interim they had added men to the residence. They had also knocked together two or three apartments into one, to make more spacious living quarters which now had all the accoutrements of upscale living---in apartment washers and dryers, crown molding, granite countertops, and lovely wood floors.
As the number of us seniors grow, we are less willing to be shelved on a cot somewhere as if we are no longer of use to society. We lived in nice homes when we were working, and while we might be downsizing, we do not feel as if we are on the shelf. We still want our homes to look nice as well as reflect the life we have lived. We also want to be able to include our spouses in that life.
Yet, I think of my grandmother in that small utilitarian apartment, and she was not one iota diminished by it. We all beat a path to her door to enjoy her conversation, her memories, and her take on life in the ‘old ladies home’ as she called it. She was as thoughtful and interesting as she had always been. Crown molding would not have made her more so.