I have been contemplating the English language and its designations for indicating “old.” Why is ‘old woman’ pejorative and ‘older women’ is not? What a lot of power is given to those two little letters e and r. If one said, “She is an old woman,” what do we all picture? Someone stricken by age, and perhaps crabby on top of it. If on the other hand one says, “She is an older woman,” we have acknowledged her age in a much more graceful way. Perhaps it is because ‘older woman’ puts us in the middle of a continuum in which we are older than others, but we still have a way to go to become really old. ‘Old woman’ indicates the end of the line. One might as well just say ‘ancient’, another delightful word.
Then there is the word elderly which has an old fashioned ring to it. I may be old but I do not think I shall ever think of myself as elderly. Elderly is a top hat and a silver handled cane, and probably an inability to deal with the modern world. I assure myself daily I am not there as I have a computer and can work my cell phone to a certain extent. As I struggle to enter yet another ‘portal’ in arranging my daily life, I constantly assure myself that I am NOT ‘past my prime’, although if I had a prime I am not exactly sure when that was.
Now let us look at venerable, a word I can embrace. It certainly means old, but someone who is revered and esteemed for the accumulations of life lessons, and the knowledge gained therefrom. The term elder in certain cultures embraces the idea that with age may come some wisdom. This is the opposite of something that none of us of a certain age want to embrace in any way ---- senility, along with such delightful terms as decrepit, doddering, senescent, ‘in one’s dotage,’ or the ultimate ‘not long for this world.’
Then there are the words and phrases that make light of old age although it is no laughing matter for those of us in the midst of it. How about ‘old as the hills’, ‘no spring chicken,’ ‘over the hill,’ ‘long in the tooth,’ and my favorite, courtesy of our British cousins, ‘wrinklies.’
If we older Americans are known only for how we look, how about grizzled (I think only men can embrace that), hoary (brush up on your Shakespeare), and gray-haired. And if we are known only for our age how about septuagenarian, octogenarian, nonagenarian and centenarian. I might skip the first three, but if I get to the last (heaven forbid) I might want to consider that term.
In the end, I think I have a solution to it all. I am just me, for better or for worse, and you can refer to me by the many delightful titles that I will answer to ----- my given name, or Mom, or Grammy, not to mention a special smile from the man I have been married to for 56 years.